Confidence at work is something almost everyone struggles with — but very few people talk about honestly.
Most people look like they’ve got it together. They’re speaking up in meetings, leading projects, progressing in their careers.
Underneath? A lot of them are winging it.
Whether you’re new to your role, stepping up after a promotion, walking into a customer meeting you don’t feel ready for, or returning after time away, a wobble in confidence is not a sign you’re in the wrong place. It’s a sign you’re stretching.
And that’s exactly where growth happens.
The biggest myth about confidence is that you need to feel ready before you act.
You don’t.
Confidence isn’t a personality trait you either have or don’t have. It’s built through doing – often before you feel fully prepared.
Here’s what actually helps.
Recognise That Confidence Has Peaks and Troughs
Even the most senior, seemingly assured people in your organisation have had moments of self-doubt. Confidence is rarely a steady upward climb; it fluctuates depending on circumstances. Maybe you’re starting a new job, returning from maternity leave, moving back into an office environment after a long stretch at home, or being promoted into unfamiliar territory; any of these experiences can trigger a dip in your confidence and self-belief.
If you are experiencing one of these moments, or if you have a team member who could use some extra support in this area, the most important thing to know is this: a dip in confidence does not mean you cannot do the job. It means you are human. That inner voice telling you that you are not good enough is not the truth; it is the brain trying to keep you safe. The key isn’t to eliminate the voice. It’s to notice it – and carry on anyway.
Preparation is Key (but over preparation isn’t!)
Preparation is one of the most reliable ways to feel more confident before a big moment, whether it is a big meeting, a presentation, a difficult conversation, or something else. Going in armed with the information you need (especially when you know you’re going to be challenged!), having thought through possible questions and practised what you want to say, can make an enormous difference.
That said, there is a balance to strike. Over-preparation can tip into anxiety. If you are spending ten times longer preparing than the meeting itself will last, that is a signal to step back. The goal is to feel organised and ready, not to have memorised every possible scenario. A light run-through, even just in your head or written out in notes, is often enough to settle nerves and sharpen your thinking.
Get Your Voice in the Room Early
If you’ve ever sat in a meeting waiting for the “right moment” to speak… you’ll know how hard it gets the longer you leave it. One practical tip that works: break the ice before the high-stakes moment arrives. Engage in small talk at the start of a meeting (even though it can feel cringe), ask a simple question, or make a brief comment. Once you have heard your own voice in that space, in a low-pressure moment, speaking up again later feels far less daunting. The first word is always the hardest.
Watch the Language You Use
How we communicate, in person, in emails, in messages, has a direct impact on how confident we come across, and in turn on how confident we feel. Over-apologising is a surprisingly common habit: prefacing requests with apologising unnecessarily, or softening every ask to the point of invisibility. Stop the:
“Sorry to bother you…”
“Sorry, this might be a silly question…”
“Sorry, just a quick one…”
When we apologise without cause, we inadvertently signal to others (and ourselves!) that we have done something wrong. Try taking stock of how often you say sorry in a day and ask whether it is genuinely warranted. Removing unnecessary apology from your language is a small shift that can meaningfully change how you are perceived and how you feel about yourself.
Build Your Own Toolkit of Confidence Anchors
Everyone builds confidence a little differently, and it is worth experimenting to find what works for you. Some useful techniques to try:
✨ Visualisation: Call to mind a time when you felt genuinely capable and at your best. It might be a project you delivered well, a conversation that went better than expected, or a moment when you knew your subject inside out. Hold onto that feeling and draw on it before a difficult moment.
✨ Anchoring: Create a small physical association with that confident feeling; a gesture, an object, or even a particular item of clothing. Over time, that anchor will help you access the feeling more quickly.
✨ Breathing: When nerves take hold, breathing is your fastest route back to calm. Slow, counted breaths regulate your nervous system and help you re-centre, even mid-presentation or mid-conversation.
✨ Taking a pause: Some of the most compelling and confident communicators are the ones who take their time. A considered pause before responding or during a presentation is not a sign of uncertainty. It is a mark of thoughtfulness, and your audience will read it that way.
Perhaps the most important truth about confidence is this: you do not have to feel ready before you start. Confidence is not a prerequisite for action; it is a result of it. The more you do something, the more natural it becomes. We often tell ourselves, “I will try that when I am more confident”, but the doing is exactly what builds the confidence in the first place.
Supporting Your Team
If you are supporting someone on your team through a confidence dip, encourage them to take one small step; not a leap. Help them recall the strengths they already have, because those strengths did not disappear when the nerves arrived. Remind them that everyone in that room, including the most senior person present, has had their own moments of doubt. Confidence is not about having no fear. It is about going ahead despite it.
Would you like to learn more about how to build confidence and support your career growth? Or perhaps you recognise one of your team members in this article and would like to offer them some additional support? Our Fearless Foundations programme is perfect for you: https://fearlessfoodies.co.uk/fearless-foundations/
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