Picture this: You’re sitting in a meeting room filled with people who have decades more experience than you. Someone throws around an acronym you’ve never heard before. Your chest starts to feel blotchy, your fight-or-flight response kicks in, and that little voice in your head whispers: “If I ask what that means, everyone will know I’m a fraud.”
Sound familiar?
I recently had a conversation with Bethan Grylls, Editor of Food Manufacturer, that completely reframed how we should think about asking questions at work. What we discovered might surprise you: your willingness to admit what you don’t know isn’t a weakness – it’s actually your greatest leadership asset.
The Acronym Jungle
Let’s be honest about the food industry for a moment. We love our acronyms. RSP, NPD, NWT – it’s like acronym bingo in every meeting. Bethan, who’s worked across multiple B2B sectors from plumbing to electronics to food, knows this challenge intimately.
“I think there is a fear from a lot of people – they avoid asking questions because there’s this fear that they will appear incompetent,” she told me. “If you say ‘what does that mean?’ or ‘what does that acronym stand for?’ there’s a concern you’re going to be judged, that you’ll look like you don’t have credibility.”
But here’s what Bethan learned through her journalism career: most people actually want to share their knowledge. They enjoy teaching others. And more often than not, when you ask that “stupid” question, someone else in the room breathes a sigh of relief and thinks, “Thank goodness they asked that.”
The Evolutionary Fear Factor
Why does asking questions feel so terrifying? There’s actual science behind this discomfort.
As humans, we evolved as pack animals where being liked by the group was essential for survival. If the pack rejected you, you were left alone to face the tigers (yes, tigers became a running theme in our conversation). While we’re not literally facing predators in boardrooms today, our brains still trigger the same fight-or-flight response when we risk looking foolish in front of the group.
That blotchy chest, that flash of embarrassment, that voice telling you to keep quiet – it’s the same physiological response our ancestors had when facing actual danger. The difference is, not knowing what RSP stands for isn’t going to get you eaten by a tiger.
The Questions That Spark Innovation
Here’s where things get interesting. When we create environments where questions are not just tolerated but encouraged, something magical happens: innovation flourishes.
Think about it logically. If people feel they need to pretend they know everything, they’ll keep doing things the way they’ve always been done. But when curiosity is rewarded, when it’s safe to ask, “why do we do it this way?” or “what if we tried something different?” – that’s when breakthrough thinking happens.
Psychological safety in the workplace – the confidence that you can speak up without negative consequences – is proven to increase innovation and positive business outcomes. Teams that ask questions together solve problems better together.
The Art of Strategic Questioning
Bethan’s background in journalism revealed something crucial about the power of questions. As she put it: “It’s not about me standing up there going ‘look at all the knowledge I have.’ It’s about me standing up there and going ‘you tell me what you know’ and then repeating it in a way that makes sense to everyone.”
This approach works beyond journalism. Whether you’re in product development, commercial, or technical roles, asking questions and then reflecting back what you’ve heard serves multiple purposes:
- It confirms your understanding
- It helps the other person clarify their own thinking
- It often sparks new ideas when concepts are framed differently
- It builds stronger working relationships
Leading by Not Knowing
For those in leadership positions, admitting knowledge gaps becomes even more powerful. When leaders ask questions instead of pretending to have all the answers, they:
Model psychological safety – showing it’s okay for everyone to not know everything
Empower their teams – asking “how would you approach this?” develops people far better than simply giving instructions
Access diverse perspectives – different backgrounds, ages, and experiences bring invaluable insights that leaders might miss
Stay connected to the front line – you can’t possibly know every detail of every role; your team members are the experts in their daily work
The Question Framing Game-Changer
If you’re presenting to groups, here’s a practical tip that can transform your interactions: stop asking “Does that make sense?”
When you ask this question, people automatically say yes because saying no feels like questioning your competence. Instead, try: “What questions do you have?” This framing makes it feel normal and expected to ask for clarification.
Beyond the Fear: Practical Steps Forward
So how do you overcome that evolutionary fear of looking foolish? Here are some strategies that work:
Remember the 90/10 rule: About 90% of people come to work with positive intentions. They’re not sitting there plotting to judge you. The 10% who might judge? That’s their baggage, not yours.
Practice the “let them” philosophy: You can’t control what others think, so let them think what they want to think. Most of the time, they’re too busy worrying about their own performance to judge yours.
Start small: Ask one question this week that you’ve been afraid to ask. Notice that the world doesn’t end.
Frame it positively: “Can you clarify that for me?” or “Help me understand…” sounds confident, not incompetent.
The AI Question
Bethan raised a fascinating point about artificial intelligence changing how we ask questions. While AI can be a useful tool for quick clarification (like looking up an acronym during a meeting), there’s a risk we might lose our human curiosity muscle if we rely on it too heavily.
The key is treating AI like a colleague – helpful but not infallible. And remember, the best questions often come from human interaction, where follow-up questions and real dialogue can lead to unexpected insights.
The Diversity Advantage
Here’s something worth considering: if you’re newer to an industry or role, your questions might be more valuable than you think. Those of us who’ve been around for years can get stuck in “that’s how we’ve always done it” thinking.
Fresh perspectives challenge assumptions. A nutrition degree from 25 years ago (like mine) is largely outdated now. The recent graduate might know about trends, technologies, or approaches that experienced professionals have missed. Your “naïve” questions might just spark the innovation your team needs.
Your Challenge This Week
Here’s your homework: Ask one question this week that you’ve been afraid to ask.
Maybe it’s clarifying an acronym in your next team meeting. Perhaps it’s asking your direct report how they’d approach a problem instead of immediately giving your solution. Or it could be reaching out to someone with more experience and saying, “I’d love to understand how you think about this challenge.”
The Bottom Line
Credibility doesn’t come from knowing everything – it comes from being willing to learn, to grow, and to admit when you need help. In a world that’s changing faster than ever, the ability to ask good questions and learn continuously is far more valuable than having all the answers.
Most people won’t think less of you for asking questions. They’ll respect your honesty, appreciate your curiosity, and probably be relieved that someone finally asked what everyone was wondering.
And if a few people do judge you for asking questions? Let them. They’re probably the ones who stopped learning years ago, and that’s their limitation, not yours.
Remember: curiosity leads to innovation, questions lead to progress, and admitting what you don’t know is the first step to knowing more.
Now go ask that question you’ve been holding back. The worst that can happen is you learn something new. The best that can happen? You might just change everything.
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