It isn’t easy to be a woman in the food industry (or any industry, I dare say!). The expectations on us are overwhelming. Someone who understands the struggle well is Nyree Ambarchian, co-founder of purpose-driven communications agency Jack and Grace. We talked recently for a podcast episode and reflected on just how deeply ingrained the rules of work really are, even when you’re actively trying to break them.
Nyree said, “I’ve set up a whole business to enable work to work for working parents and I still feel guilty when I leave to do the school run. What kind of mad brainwashing is that?”
The Rules You Didn’t Know Were Rules
Nyree spent her entire career trying to follow the rules. Working in big corporate organisations, commuting to London, following the traditional career trajectory. But when she became a parent, something shifted.
“All the rules of work (the stuff that’s unwritten that you breathe in) suddenly stopped stacking up. The expectations of how stuff’s done, who succeeds, the behaviours people exhibit. All of that suddenly became impossible for me to stick to.”
She thought she was the problem. For a long time, she believed she was falling behind, letting people down, unable to cope. “I thought it was me for so long. I was like, I’m the problem. And it was so slow. Eventually I was like, oh, what if it’s not me? What if it’s the rules?”
That realisation changed everything.
The Rules We’ve Forgotten Are Rules
Some of these rules are so embedded we don’t even recognise them anymore. Nyree calls them “microplastics”; they’re just existing, living inside us, and we don’t even realise.
Take the 37.5-hour work week. “Somebody invented this. It doesn’t just exist. That specific number is supposed to be the exact right number of hours a full-time job should take. No one questions it. To me, that’s mad.”
Or the rule that jobs are full-time by default. At Jack and Grace, they’ve flipped that; all roles are offered part-time as standard. You can work full time, but you have to ask.
“Lots of people look at me like I’m mad when I say we offer all roles part time,” Nyree admits. “But what I think is really mad is that we’ve just accepted these rules without questioning them.”
When Breaking Rules Doesn’t Work
Not every rule-breaking experiment succeeds. Jack and Grace tried unlimited holiday (a popular trend a few years ago). It didn’t work.
“It was the opposite of what we expected. People weren’t taking leave, so they weren’t getting the breaks they need. We had to chuck that one back out the window.”
It’s a reminder that some rules exist for good reasons. The challenge is noticing them and figuring out which are the good ones.
Culture Trumps Policy Every Time
“The easy bit is getting excited about shaking up the rules, writing new rules, bringing them in,” Nyree explains. “The hard bit is living them.”
You can have all the flexible working policies in the world, but if the culture doesn’t support them, they won’t work. If the policy says flexible working but everyone tuts when someone needs to do the school run, that’s not working.
“You have to have the culture first and then the policies follow. But even as someone who’s built a business specifically to enable this, I still feel that guilt. We’ve been so indoctrinated.”
The key? Leaders have to model the behaviour. Nyree makes sure she visibly leaves for the school run, blocks time in her diary for sports day, and doesn’t pretend that parenting doesn’t exist during work hours.
“I think we have to be more visible as parents. And that is actually, in itself, quite a radical act.”
Say the Pay
Another rule Nyree is challenging? Salary secrecy. Jack & Grace’s campaign, “Say the Pay,” tackles the absurdity of job adverts that list salaries as “competitive” instead of stating the actual figure.
“The people who are most disadvantaged by salary secrecy are the people who are already most disadvantaged; women, working parents, anyone with a hint of diversity. It just props up inequality in the workplace.”
The campaign likens it to buying an ice cream where the vendor refuses to tell you the price but says it’s “very competitive” and asks about your ice cream-eating experience. It’s highlighting just how bonkers the practice is.
“You wouldn’t accept it if you’re buying ice cream. So why on earth do we accept it in recruitment?”
What This Means for the Food Industry
The food industry faces particular challenges. Manufacturing and retail have jobs that must be done at certain times and in certain places. But imposing those same rigid rules across all support functions means losing a huge swathe of talent.
“If there are businesses letting people work flexibly and from home, why would people starting out choose the food industry where you’re forced to go in, do extra hours, and do trials at 4am?”
The evidence that change is possible was Covid. When lockdown hit, everyone had to change. Through leadership will and collective effort, the rules were rewritten overnight. It proved that change can be done when people want it to be done.
The new generation isn’t willing to flog themselves to death for work (good for them, I say!). If the food industry wants to attract and retain talent (and we all know that’s quite hard to do right now), it needs to find ways to offer flexibility, even in traditionally rigid structures.
The Message That Matters Most
“If you’re feeling like you’re not thriving, you’re just surviving, it’s probably not you,” Nyree emphasises. “The system is not set up for us and we have to try and change it. But it’s really hard, and small things can make a big difference.”
Nyree’s advice included:
- Notice the rules. The ones that are so inherent we forget they make no sense
- Remember that it’s not you. The system was set up when one person in the household worked, that’s rarely the case these days.
- Do what you can with where you are. Let go of doing it all.
- Don’t aim for perfect, just make little changes.
“The number one thing for sanity, especially for any fellow parents listening: it’s not you. The system is not set up for us.”
That realisation alone (that you’re not failing, the system is rigged) can be transformational.
Small Steps Still Count
Even in big organisations with limited flexibility, there are actions within your control:
- Start a women’s group or support network (or join us once a month for Fearless Women Connect)
- Block time in your diary for personal commitments and honour it
- Be visible about leaving for childcare or other responsibilities
- Model the boundaries you want others to feel comfortable setting
As Nyree says, “One of the bravest things we can do in business is to put those boundaries in place and say, ‘I’m leaving work now because I need to do the school run and you won’t see me again for the rest of today.’ Just do it and model that for other people.”
The rules are made up. Some of them are good. Some of them need changing. And the first step to changing them is recognising they exist.
Fearless Women: Rise
If you’re ready to challenge the rules, build your confidence, and connect with other women who get it, join Fearless Women Rise. This is our program designed specifically for women in the food industry.
Through clarity, confidence, and connection, you’ll gain the tools to succeed on your terms, not someone else’s outdated rulebook.
Join the waiting list today: https://fearlessfoodies.co.uk/fearless-women-rise/
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