“I spent years wearing trousers and jackets because I was one woman in a team of 17 men. It took me a real long time to lean into actually being myself.”
This is Nicky Foster, Fearless Foodies leadership coach and former Tesco Category Director, reflecting on her 20+ year journey in retail. And her story isn’t unique; it’s the lived experience of countless women navigating leadership in the food industry.
The Challenge That Hasn’t Changed Enough
This isn’t because women suddenly become less capable or less ambitious.
It’s because many leadership environments in food and retail were designed around a very narrow model of success – long hours, constant availability, confidence that looks and sounds a certain way, and unspoken rules that reward those who already fit the mould.
After qualifying as a coach, Nicky looked at the research from Deloitte and others on women in leadership. What surprised her? The statistics hadn’t moved forward as much as she’d expected since 2008.
The problem isn’t getting women into roles; it’s keeping them there. For every one senior woman promoted to director level, two leave. They’re juggling children, aging parents, leading wellbeing initiatives, and trying to hold down big jobs. They’re on the path to burnout and recognise they can’t do it all, so, they leave. And we lose valuable talent.
It’s Not About Fixing Women
The challenges Nicky sees most often? Confidence and that persistent inner voice telling women they’re not good enough, it was all a fluke, they’re going to be found out.
What shows up most often in her coaching conversations is labelled as ‘confidence’ – but it’s usually a very rational response to environments where women are interrupted, second-guessed, or penalised for the same behaviours that are rewarded in men.
“Generally, all of the conversations I have with women have that theme at some point,” Nicky shares.
Here’s part of the issue: when women do speak up assertively, they’re often labelled as aggressive or bossy. The same behaviour praised in men becomes problematic when women display it.
“Women are constantly forced to walk a tightrope – assertive enough to be heard, but not so assertive that they’re labelled ‘difficult’.”
The Confidence Paradox
Women often say “I’ll be confident…”
- When I’ve got that qualification.
- When I’ve been promoted.
- When I’ve lost weight.
- [Insert various reasons here….]
But confidence doesn’t work that way. You don’t become confident and then take action. You take action, and that builds confidence.
“Confidence isn’t something you’re just naturally born with. It is a learned skill. Taking small, tangible steps helps you build your competence, which builds your self-belief, which allows you to feel more confident.”
There’s also a deeper issue. From a young age, girls are told to be good, be nice, be kind. Boys are told to take risks, be brave. We don’t naturally build young women’s confidence from an early age.
No wonder so many talented women struggle to speak up and claim their space.
What Women Actually Need
It takes more than confidence alone; women in food need:
Clarity – Understanding who you are, what you bring, and what you want from your career
Confidence – Not just talking about it, but tangible, actionable steps you can take to build it
Connection – A tribe of like-minded women who lift each other up
Research on senior women leaders shows that many attribute their success to having a core group of women they journeyed with. That network was their number one strength.
“When you get a group of women together in a psychologically safe space, people open up, share experiences, and realise: ‘Oh, I thought it was just me. It’s not; it’s all of us.’ That realisation alone can be transformative.”
The Advice Nicky Would Give Her Younger Self
“Be braver – but do it with support. Be fearless – but not alone. Embrace being yourself and spend less time trying to conform. Get to know who you are and what’s important to you. And tell people what you want and need.”
She remembers a line manager saying: “I’m a man. You just got to tell me what you want and we can make it happen.”
People aren’t going to guess what you want. You have to tell them. Hard work alone isn’t enough – you have to let people know what you’re after.
Why This Matters
We need good people in businesses. When we lose talented women at senior levels, everyone suffers. Diverse leadership teams are more successful; they have better retention, satisfaction, and wellbeing.
The younger generation is more assertive and values-driven. The question is: will they stay? That’s where targeted support comes in; not generic leadership training, but programs designed around the specific challenges women face in the food industry.
Targeted support matters – not to ‘fix’ women, but to help them navigate, challenge, and reshape the systems they’re operating within. The Fearless Women: Empowered to Rise programme exists because waiting for the world around us to change on its own costs too many women too much – and it’s time for change.
Take the first step. It’s YOUR time to rise. Join the waiting list for details on our next ‘Fearless Women: Empowered to Rise’ cohort: https://fearlessfoodies.co.uk/fearless-women-rise/
Remember, being fearless isn’t about never feeling fear; it’s about feeling it and doing it anyway.
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